You’ve read correctly fashionasties.
And the Fashion Club has spoken: Fashionasty Headquarters is taking a Fashionasty Sabbatical.
Sandi Griffin’s orders, I’m afraid…
BUT IT’S TOTALLY OKAY, FASHIONASTIES!
HELL-O.
It’s because Fashionasty is getting a (much needed) major face lift!
AS IF! I’m only 16, and this is California, not Kentucky!
NO, just a couple of cool stitches and you better be one of them biach.
In the words of Elise Elliot AKA The Realest First HouseWive, “I want to be young. Science Fiction young.”
If you’ve noticed, Fashionasty Headquarters exists on the dinosaur of online publishers…*cough* WordPress *cough* and it’s time to plump up the lips and pull back the lids on thee ‘ol grannyblog. #NotAgeistBTW, but you already know that!
I’m so excited to fill you in on
how good it’s going to look it’s like not even funny!
IDK how long it’ll be (a week or two at most!), but NGL,
the NEW SITE IS GOING TO BE SO FRESH 2 DEF you won’t even drop a drip of despair for this old thang!!!
This post brought to you by the original Phresh Princess Of Death Air AKA Clarice Starling AKA Beez In The Attic’s Trap AKA My Halloween Costume:
And lastly, this is dedicated to YOU, gentle reader.
Thanks for sticking by Fashionasty all these years.
You’re SUCH a good friend:
GET OUT YOUR BINDI’S FASHIONASTIES, IT’S ABOUT TO GET N(ERD)O DOUBT NASTY!
OK. So like, IDK where everyone stands on No Doubt’s new album, but I know some people are all disappointed and whatever…
But I guess I’m kinda like Kat Stratford in the sense that #idgaf whether something is dubbed “cool” or “not cool.”
LBR, No Doubt really started out not caring if people would like them. And look at where they’re at now. Also: out of all the cherry amazons, Gwen’s been my fav since forever and a half because she kinda just did/does her own thing and people wanted to give her all these titles like”style icon,” “rebel,” etc., but whenever she gets interviewed, it’s blatantly evident that she’s just a really big nerd.
So like in gayman terms, suffice to popular belief, I really created fashionasty for myself. An open dimension where I could meta-physically rock out with my nerd out. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE how many readers/fans I get here/queer at Fashionasty Headquarters and it literally warms my heart slash sort of brings me to tears sometimes because I love you all so much, but like, I guess what I’m saying is that I don’t ever do things FOR other people to think I’m cool? Does that make sense? Basically that’s what I ask slash urge of you as well. To just do your thing and people will totally fall in love.
That’s why recently I’ve been getting a lot of flack for like bringing back Michelle Branch and Avril Lavigne on my iPod and I’m like, HELLO #toogaytofunction slash you were 15 once and really into her tie phase too. #DON’TFRONT backslash #DON’TBECRAZY. And also, in my defense, I’m still coming to terms with Tara dying on Buffy and it’s the only way I can whisper to Willow Rosenberg through “Goodbye To You”, GEEZ GUYS.
Part of being fashionasty is literally embracing what YOU find cool, and chances are, your haters are really just fans in denial because they WANT to be as cool about admitting their nerd nastiness. Alas, I digress…
ANYWAYS:Wait, what was this post about? Oh yeah, I fucking love No Doubt. I think they’re REAL CUTE. Here’s/queer’s my review:
————————————PUSH & SHOVE REVIEW———————————–
1) SETTLE DOWN – So it’s not their best. Butt really, will anything ever top Tragic Kingdom? I can appreciate that after twenty years they are still creating and producing music for us to hear.
2) LOOKING HOT – Rule of thumb: It’s ALWAYS fun to mimic Gwen’s pouty voice so go ahead and try it next time you are in your car alone. You’ll either end up loving this song OR self-auditioning for The Voice. Both are entertaining.
3) ONE MORE SUMMER – Super kawaii! It like tries to be as cute as Gwen’s solo “The Real Thing” (which next to “Early Winter” are her best tbh). So if you have the resources to go to the beach, stare out at the ocean and like cry for awhile. It’ll be a real tender moment between you and Gwen’s houndstooth tankini.
4) PUSH AND SHOVE – Came to hate, wound up ugly crying/dancing (which is a good thing btw). Now I’m OBSESSED. Not only do I think this was the original score for “The Knight Bus” featuring the shruken heads, but now it’s my favorite track? Pretty much. It’s just fun. Again, if you picture Gwen as a Disney princess on a pirate ship, it keeps it all in perspective. And her chorus part takes the cake for “sexy but sad.”
5) EASY – I think this is the one I like the most? Or atleast, it’s the one that iTunes says I listen to on repeat.
6) GRAVITY – In every artist’s discography, it seems like they morph into Bruce Springsteen for a song. Like Gaga in “Unicorn Highway To Love.” This sounds like Banarama’s “Venus” and Bruce’s “Born To Run.”
7) UNDERCOVER – Meh. Not my fav. Doesn’t mean I’m throwing shade. There are melodic moments where I get melancholically happy. And let’s be real, ANYTHING is better than Katy Perry.
8) UNDONE – Real cute. Wait. I guess I don’t really remember how it sounded?
9) SPARKLE – I think this is my second fav? It reminds me of “Underneath It All” and that someday I’ll fall in love instead of role-playing with my body pillow. Huh? What?
10) HEAVEN – If Letters To Cleo put out something in 2012?
11) DREAMING THE SAME DREAM – It’s cute that like a lot of this album is like four parents wondering how they are still rock stars…so I love how a lot of these tracks are just inter-personal relations between the four of them and just kind of like getting them out of their system. So hats off.
12) STAND IN DELIVER – I always love appropriately astute texts to Adam Ant, so I’m totally OK with Gwen larping as a Peter Pan boi.
All in all, I give it like 8.5 Bindi’s out of 10! And YOU KNOW, I still have mad Stefani envy aka who doesn’t want to just be a girl?!
Fashionasty Presents: Somethin’ ‘Bout Romney: Year Of Hype. Only 3900 Sold.
Look, I KNOW it’s anti-bullying month, but this isn’t even SLAMMING Baby Kreay.
I loved ‘Gucci Gucci.’ I’m just borrowing pop culture to make an analogy. OK?!
Anyways:
LAST NIGHT SPARKED THE FIRST OF THE 2012 PRESIDENTIAL DEBATES.
TBH, Romney was trying to Azealia out and Obama was all Lazy Jay about it:
Hopefully,
Obama will declare a party on Romney’s face at Debate Round 2,
and DANCE ON IT:
This post approved by my pinoy sister, Manilla Luzon / Big Bird IRL:
OK, so like right now for example,
the 2012 Presidential Debates begin tonight…(9:00-10:30PM EST)
Here’s/queer’s like an article or whatever about what Obama and Romney are going to talk about about (i.e. “domestic issues — three segments on the economy, one on health care and a finale pegged to “the role of government” in U.S. life –“)…
All [Obama] cares about is school, his mom, and his friends…
AND – THAT’S NOT A BAD THING!!!
I watched PBS’ Half The Sky program last night about women’s oppression all around the world. (Which, shout-out to my girl America for supporting/participating in something that is a game/world changer):
Ugly Betty, 2008
Besides it’s revolutionary ideology, the concept rings true about women’s right right here in America! And if you’re going to vote/support a man (*cough* Mitt *cough* Romney) that doesn’t support your sport’s bra/ is going to put more laws on women’s bodies/choices, than a) Boo! You whore! and b) I’m literally not going to every be able to three way call you ever again. Like, I’ll just keep you on hold and never pick up.
Sorry to be viral,
butt like wouldn’t it be macro if the setting was more like Mr. Duvall’s class:
Never thought I’d say this: BUTT DON’T BE CLUELESS
(ABOUT THIS ELECTION, DUH!) FASHIONASTIES!!! (Othewise, OF COURSE larp as Cher Horowitz with me 365 days out of a fashionasty calendar year!)
Being informed is SEXY, fashionasties!
Stay smart, stay a smart ass, and stay fashionasty!
Fashionasty Presents:
Hermione Granger: “Draco Malfoy Broke My Heart.”
As must as I wish this was fanfic fashionasties, it’s not.
THE PERKS OF BEING A MANDRAKE:
Emma Watson revealed this week that “between the ages of ten to tweleve I had a very terrible crush on Tom Felton, to the extent that I would go into work in the morning and look down the numbers on the call sheet to see if he was going to be in.”
“We love a bad guy, he was a few years older and had a skateboard – and that just did it really.”
“He totally knew and the thing is that he told everyone ‘I see her in a younger, sisterly way,’ and it just broke my heart.”
OMG This story is sadder than Dobby dying tbh.
Live fast, die young, bad witches do it well:
Poor thing! This post approved by a truly magickal suggestion
made from the wand of my Ravenclaw beauty Holly who suggests
Miss Granger rock out with her gryffindor tie out: #NowThat’sWhatICallMusicalTherapy
Fashionasty Presents: NEW ENGLAND VAMPYR PANIC: Fashionasty’s Jake Reveals Secret Love Affair With Spike
OK, so like, the Smithsonian Magazine put out THIS ARTICLE about how 200 years after the Salem Witch trials, the people of Griswold, CT admitted they believed vampires came back to life to haunt the living. Um…WHATEVER.
More importantly, I have something to confess, fashionasties. I haven’t been ENTIRELY honest with you. You see, I’m a techno pagan and practicing witch (shout out to Nancy Downs! Rachet Witches make the world go round!):
…and I know it’s like against the rules of feminism to date a vampyre…but like, four score and sevyn centuries ago, I met a vampyre names Spike.
I’m sorry, but in the words of Azealia Banks, like “keep a boo dressed down to her louboutins” because HELLO:
Like, right?
Truth be told, I always knew he’d come back to me…#comingoutofmycoffin. So that’s the REAL story fashionasties. No need to get your panties in a vampyre panic.
Fashionasty Presents: Make A Deal With Your TV: Hail A Cab To 666 Park Avenue ASAP! It’s A Must-See!
ABC’s “666 Park Avenue” premiered tonight.
And how
OBSESSED
are we?!
I love Fall. The leaves, the pumpkin spice lattes (hold the pumpkin, hold the latte!), the scarves….but more than anything, I love Fall because of TV premieres. Even in junior high my sister and I would fawn over Romy Gilmore’s boy crushes (Jesse > Dean).
ANYWHO:
Let’s cut right to the chase.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS: It’s a killer hit! It’s spooky! It’s campy!
And oh, I just love seeing Vanessa Williams back on the tube again!
*Shrugs*
IDK,
I’d TOTES get past the whole ‘666’ thing to live in the lap of lux at
“The Drake.”
It’s seductive. It’s fun. And the Dorans are about as badass as it gets.
I truly engage with the TV screen when I find something truthful in the story / characters. AND – miraculously, when ‘666’ was filming the pilot – I was dogsitting for my boss on a different TV show that just so happened to be at the building NEXT DOOR to where “The Drake” was in Harlem. And let me just say that those buildings are beautiful during the day, but something entirely different by night…
PLOT SUMMARY:
*SPOILER ALERT*
Beethoven plays as flawless queen Vanessa Williams and Terry ‘O Quinn AKA The Dorans gaze down at the commoners *cough* I mean the orchestra playing. Vanessa’s got her smirk ON LOCK because not even a minute into the show, and we get a Wilhelmina eyebrow raise AND can she be anymore gorgeous?! #IDon’tThinkSo.
LONG STORY SHORT: We’re introduced to a man playing the violin. He cuts his finger and it’s a pentagram’s wet dream how much blood spills on his sheet music. It cuts to him back at “The Drake” (666 Park Ave) – the lavish, yet sinister apartment complex and it’s evident he is on the run. He didn’t fulfill a “deal” he made with Gavin Doran (Terry ‘O Quinn) and knows it will cost him his life. Let me just say that you don’t want to be this violin dude because he was gone in sixty nine seconds!
THEN: We met Jane and Henry – a couple from Queens – who become the new managers of “The Drake.” Throughout the episode we learn more and more about how The Drake is haunted by ghosts, tenants make deals with literally the devil (or atleast Gavin who must communicate with the horned man), and whether they can keep their bargains is up to the pact they make. We also learn how the Drake had a horrific fire where many tenants died. ALSO: Olivia and Gavin’s daughter, Sasha, died a long time ago as well.
(Which I have a hunch to pick! Anyone else think the little girl with the chipped blue nail polish nails is their daughter? And in order to keep her alive, they sacrifice tenants? Anyone else agree?)
Besides the obvious campiness (the Dorans live on the 13th floor, jokes about tenants “moving to warmer place”…[i.e. Hell/Hades/etc.], and the ghosts [which let me warn your goosebumps. It’s really scary when they deliver unexpected cameos…#justsaying!], the most powerful thing for me is that ANYONE can live at the Drake. It’s pretty clear that the majority of the tenants come from an eclectic range of socio-economic backgrounds, races, and backgrounds. Which kind of brings everyone down to Earth. Like anyone can make a deal with the devil in order to have and/or make the kind of life they see for themselves and how far they are willing to go to continue / keep up with the Joneses for it.
fashionasty 
