GET OUT YOUR BINDI’S FASHIONASTIES,
IT’S ABOUT TO GET N(ERD)O DOUBT NASTY!
OK. So like, IDK where everyone stands on No Doubt’s new album, but I know some people are all disappointed and whatever…
But I guess I’m kinda like Kat Stratford in the sense that #idgaf whether something is dubbed “cool” or “not cool.”
LBR, No Doubt really started out not caring if people would like them. And look at where they’re at now. Also: out of all the cherry amazons, Gwen’s been my fav since forever and a half because she kinda just did/does her own thing and people wanted to give her all these titles like”style icon,” “rebel,” etc., but whenever she gets interviewed, it’s blatantly evident that she’s just a really big nerd.
So like in gayman terms, suffice to popular belief, I really created fashionasty for myself. An open dimension where I could meta-physically rock out with my nerd out. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE how many readers/fans I get here/queer at Fashionasty Headquarters and it literally warms my heart slash sort of brings me to tears sometimes because I love you all so much, but like, I guess what I’m saying is that I don’t ever do things FOR other people to think I’m cool? Does that make sense? Basically that’s what I ask slash urge of you as well. To just do your thing and people will totally fall in love.
That’s why recently I’ve been getting a lot of flack for like bringing back Michelle Branch and Avril Lavigne on my iPod and I’m like, HELLO #toogaytofunction slash you were 15 once and really into her tie phase too. #DON’TFRONT backslash #DON’TBECRAZY. And also, in my defense, I’m still coming to terms with Tara dying on Buffy and it’s the only way I can whisper to Willow Rosenberg through “Goodbye To You”, GEEZ GUYS.
Part of being fashionasty is literally embracing what YOU find cool, and chances are, your haters are really just fans in denial because they WANT to be as cool about admitting their nerd nastiness. Alas, I digress…
ANYWAYS:Wait, what was this post about? Oh yeah, I fucking love No Doubt. I think they’re REAL CUTE. Here’s/queer’s my review:
————————————PUSH & SHOVE REVIEW———————————–
1) SETTLE DOWN – So it’s not their best. Butt really, will anything ever top Tragic Kingdom? I can appreciate that after twenty years they are still creating and producing music for us to hear.
2) LOOKING HOT – Rule of thumb: It’s ALWAYS fun to mimic Gwen’s pouty voice so go ahead and try it next time you are in your car alone. You’ll either end up loving this song OR self-auditioning for The Voice. Both are entertaining.
3) ONE MORE SUMMER – Super kawaii! It like tries to be as cute as Gwen’s solo “The Real Thing” (which next to “Early Winter” are her best tbh). So if you have the resources to go to the beach, stare out at the ocean and like cry for awhile. It’ll be a real tender moment between you and Gwen’s houndstooth tankini.
4) PUSH AND SHOVE – Came to hate, wound up ugly crying/dancing (which is a good thing btw). Now I’m OBSESSED. Not only do I think this was the original score for “The Knight Bus” featuring the shruken heads, but now it’s my favorite track? Pretty much. It’s just fun. Again, if you picture Gwen as a Disney princess on a pirate ship, it keeps it all in perspective. And her chorus part takes the cake for “sexy but sad.”
5) EASY – I think this is the one I like the most? Or atleast, it’s the one that iTunes says I listen to on repeat.
6) GRAVITY – In every artist’s discography, it seems like they morph into Bruce Springsteen for a song. Like Gaga in “Unicorn Highway To Love.” This sounds like Banarama’s “Venus” and Bruce’s “Born To Run.”
7) UNDERCOVER – Meh. Not my fav. Doesn’t mean I’m throwing shade. There are melodic moments where I get melancholically happy. And let’s be real, ANYTHING is better than Katy Perry.
8) UNDONE – Real cute. Wait. I guess I don’t really remember how it sounded?
9) SPARKLE – I think this is my second fav? It reminds me of “Underneath It All” and that someday I’ll fall in love instead of role-playing with my body pillow. Huh? What?
10) HEAVEN – If Letters To Cleo put out something in 2012?
11) DREAMING THE SAME DREAM – It’s cute that like a lot of this album is like four parents wondering how they are still rock stars…so I love how a lot of these tracks are just inter-personal relations between the four of them and just kind of like getting them out of their system. So hats off.
12) STAND IN DELIVER – I always love appropriately astute texts to Adam Ant, so I’m totally OK with Gwen larping as a Peter Pan boi.
All in all, I give it like 8.5 Bindi’s out of 10! And YOU KNOW, I still have mad Stefani envy aka who doesn’t want to just be a girl?!
© JAKE THOMPSON