NY,NY,NY Mag: Fashionasty’s Top 6ixxx(66) Rag Tag Hoochie Cout(whores)ure’s Of 2011

Fashionasty Presents:
Fashionasty’sTop 6ixxx(66) Rag Tag Hoochie Cout(whores)ure’s Of 2011

NY, NY, NY Magazine recently splashed their top Style Icons of 2011:

Kiki Dunst*
Zoe Saldana
Emma Stone
Ryan Gosling
Hailee Steinfeld
Mila Kunis
Neville Longbottom***
I repeat, Neville Longbottom
Jenny From The Block
Kate Middleton


*We all know Fashionasty Headquarters has been a Kiki fan since Jumangi. I mean, I totes get she’s whitegrrlproblems in a Rodarte, butt like, her style was pretty orbital this year, and we were all just rotating around her planet closetarium…

**Anybody else find it odd that MTN’s video concept is about recreating your memories in an artistic form butt then you hire Terry Richardson to photograph you for a coffee (stain) book?! Now before the Gaga stans get (french) pressed faster than a cup of Jo(e) Calderone, I’ll give credit where credit’s deserved. Mother Market really stuck to her britches this year and wore some of the fashionasty stitches.

***Did everybody forget to chew their gillyweed and grow some gills?! You can breathe: It’s OK that Matthew Lewis is on here/queer. Y(SL) naught(y)?! Didn’t we already know that Gryfinddor looks good on anyone!

[Fashionasty Fanf(r)ixxxtion:
Neville Longbottom:
Prisoner of ASSkaban cumming to a XXX Hogsmeade near you!]

And now, for the moment you’ve all been waiting for…

Fashionasty’s Top 6ixxx(66) Rag Tag Hoochie Cout(whores)ure’s Of 2011

As much as 6 is the demon I cling to, 7 is my virtue, A.K.A. fashionasties, I’m just a (w)hor(e)crux for your love! Before you bid the huntsman and wake them with your horns, this past year held many crowns on the thrown for the fashionastiest, and I couldn’t just squeeze 6 lemons when I could grow a lemon tree of 7. So with no further adou, here’s/queer’s my Top pixxx of 2011:



Fashionasty’s Favorite (Sh)It Girl…

Just (sausage) in case you may have missed it:

(P.S. Me in a nutshell inside an almond joy k-hole at 0:55)


(Me at 0:14)

Anybody disappointed by Episode 3?!?!

In (crystal) light, it wasn’t it’s best! Butt, needless to knit, this bitch gets 5 star stitches because let’s be real, naught(y) only are these vids like looking at the man in the mirror, butt the urban outfitters / xhilaration / NYU student look is so spot on, you’ll need to take a perma-vagaytion to Tamp Camp. Period.



If you didn’t stuff it in your stocking already, here/queer it is…

In Ab Fab’s juicy fruit new XXXmas Special, Fashionasty’s favorite hot mess mega babes are back in action, cumming down your chimney tonight. Critics gave the seasoned dames a lot of flack for failed laffs, butt, IMAO, can we at least talk about this:

At least Eddy commits to a cotton full-on and confronts it in full-denim duds! Like most things, new age ruins everything, so of course I’d love to see the duo in some of their more deranged designs from the 90’s…butt they still hold two hangers in the Fashionasty closet for Lyfe. I’m just the happiest of meals that they are back on the TV(alue) guide menu…



Fashionasty’s favorite Fembot turned heads (and timbalands) when she channeled Spice Grrl realness this past month on SNL. Cosmic irony that Gaga and Katy Perry are getting all the credit for empowering youth to liberate themselves when you could really just be like Robyn and dance on your own!

(1:43 & 2:44 just sayin’…)



Let’s talk about Tilda. This pringle of Scotland continues to turn it out over and over and over again. Fashionasty salutes you Swinton. AND – I’m copying your hair in 2012 – I’ve already got the cut – I just need to bleach it or dye trying…



There’s no words. There, I said a few…



Like a true fashionasty: Lindsay didn’t make any (s)exxxceptions when it came to making lyfe her personal catwalk. Namely, the green mile. Between court appearances and toilet cleaning duties, this bitch kept it trill with (literally!) nothing on. Can’t make a gimmick outta the bare essentials!




Just keeping you all on your toes! Thanks 4 supporting my sports bra this whole year, fashionasties. 2011 was a big, big, big year for us here/queer at Fashionasty Headquarters and I’ll pledge to keep cranking it in, and turning it out in 2012.





About fashionastyjake

Fashionasty is a state of mind, a lifestyle, and a trend that will never die young. I like borderline ugly street fashion. I like burgers. I'm desperate to find you.
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