W.W.J.W. (What. Would. Jake. Wear.)???: Fashionasty Ready-2-Scare Collection VOLUME 1: Solutions 2 Double XXXposure & Profile Pixxx

Hello my darling fashionasties! Readers have been requesting exxxtra condiments at my haute dog stand (if you catch my drift!) and have asked that I put street meats of my personal style & cheat sheet / how-to’s for dressing your tossed salad on the fashionasty run-way for life! Well, well, well, not only am I flattered beyond the burger bun, but I’m going to serve my fashionasties what they’re hungry for on a silver platter!

The new series will be titled: W.W.J.W. (What. Would. Jake. Wear.)??? Ready-2-Scare Collection Volume (###) & (Optional Topic). They can be tips-4-tat or even candid (staged papparazzo cough cough) taxidermies of me, myself, and (th)i(ghs).

Fashionasty Presents:
W.W.J.W. (What. Would. Jake. Wear.)???: 
Fashionasty Ready-2-Scare Collection VOLUME 1

Dear Fashionasty Headquarters,

I recently was photographed wearing my jeggings in TWO Facebook (scandalous!) prof pixxx. How do I fixxx this monstracity and/or what are some quick fashionasty tips to fixxx this fashionasty faux-paw???

Please Help Me!

Sincerely,

Jegging(squared)

Hi Jegging(squared), don’t you fret bc there is a solution to EVERY clothing chemistry (s)exxxperiment boiling in your cauldron pot. Firstly, ten points to Ravenclaw! Secondly, the initial step is to note that this isn’t a faux-paw! With our current recession, we’re gonna have to Occupy Our Closets on the double, double, animal style, with a side of thighs more times than we’re used to. It’s OK to spin a fashionasty ouf on the record player runway of your life, and then flip it and repeat it.

Or you can try/thigh this:

Exxxhibit A:
Here/Queer’s your look:


Exxxhibit B:
Wear shorts…and/or photo shop til you drop.
In the words of R. Kelly, “I Believe I Can Thigh.”

Exxxhibit C:
OR I think the only problem is that give credit when credit is deserved. If ur channeling 90’s sensation Basketball Diarhheas Leo Dicaprio, then I think this is the ultimate fashionasty solution to Double XXXposure & Profile Pixxx:

XOXO,

© JAKE THOMPSON

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About fashionastyjake

Fashionasty is a state of mind, a lifestyle, and a trend that will never die young. I like borderline ugly street fashion. I like burgers. I'm desperate to find you.
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