Power Lunch: Se(xy)cretary Cubicle Couture

To paraphrase Rockwell’s “Somebody’s Watching Me:”

Do u live an average life? Do u work from 9-5? Hell yeah, do u pay the price?

Let’s PHA$E it, fashionasties:

We run, we run so far aw(g)ay from the definition of the LIFESTYLE OF THE BITCH AND UNFAMOUS. Average, would be the last patty whack we’d smack to our nilly knack on our fashionasty tack board of life. Butt, in order to pay the telephone bills, bills, bills, we often gotta get down on our knees for GOV’T CHEEZE. The 9-5 is becumming more like the 6-9.

[For an amazing post on Destiny’s Child’s fashions,
check out my friend Becky’s blog: Blonde On Blonde!

Rather than letting the mundane of ur cubicle get to you…let’s talk about how much we love our only freedom at the receptionist desk:
L – U – N – C – H.
Y’ know, that liberating hour of gnosh, that breaks up your d(g)ay.

Before my NYShitty d(g)ays, I worked for a summer in college at Whole Foods.

My supervisor was giving me the rundown of lunch breaks:

You are given a 30 minute lunch break.

OK. Are we allowed to leave the building?

No. We’re a health foods store, so everything you need to eat is right here.

But, sometimes I might want Subway…


Or not…

Just keep in mind, that after eating, please be back on the floor three to four minutes before your thirty minutes is up so you can set up again for your second shift.

So, it’s technically not a 30 minute lunch.


Like, that means, it’s more of a 26 minute – or 27 minute lunch break. Wouldn’t it be more constructive to just say you have a 26 or 27 minute lunch break?

(Sighs, again, and walks away)


The more I recollect on this punky granola memory,
I realized I didn’t assert my power for my lunch break. I should’ve fought harder, better, faster, and stronger for the (s)extra three minutes! Besides, you can’t eat organic meatloaf with all the fixxxin’s in 26 minutes…duh!

Now, I realize, if I had, packed a POWER PANTSUIT in my snatchboxxx…I could’ve had that POWER LUNCH I’d be craving to munch on all d(g)ay long!

In short – next time “the man” takes aw(g)ay precious time between you and your crab cakes, pack em with a

[Coats thrifted by Jake,
Amalia Nicholson of Double Vision
& Kate Farstad 
Shot at the (S)exclusive CopaCabana]

Happy (carpet) munchin’!




About fashionastyjake

Fashionasty is a state of mind, a lifestyle, and a trend that will never die young. I like borderline ugly street fashion. I like burgers. I'm desperate to find you.
This entry was posted in Fashionasty Studies. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Power Lunch: Se(xy)cretary Cubicle Couture

  1. Pingback: This Week In Slut Shaming – Secretary’s Revenge | Blonde on Blonde

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