Resu(e)rrec†ion Ready-2-Scare: Spring God-y/Gaudy Predickxxxions


Spring (boners) are in full bloom, fashionasties! Like an early bird special, I’ve officially hatched my easter eggs (a little premature)…becuz we all know Him with a capital “H – I – M,” is having the biggest borner of all time right now. I mean, c’mon, think about it: He’s six feet under, butt he still gets to RISE his erection again on the third d(g)ay every year. Rosary beads aren’t just for praying (if you catch my drift!)


The only other two fashionasties that can pull that (jack) off
are these two gaudy hauties!


Life goal: L.L.L. (Live. Like. Liberace.)

Are you having a Manic Monday, fashionasties?!


Well, ur d(g)ay officially just got oh-so-bbq-crispy,
bc what better w(g)ay to (s)express ur spring boners than some finger-licking

Resu(e)rrec†ion Ready-2-Scare:
Spring God-y/Gaudy Predickxxxions

Let’s ga(y)ze into my crystal balls, as we (s)explore all the looks that will help you snatch your spring cat back on the fashionasty runway for life!

1) RESU(E)RRECTION READY-2-SCARE

Just becuz Jesus (Hay-Zeus) Christo gets to have his second cumming (and eat it too!), does naught(y) mean that we – fashionasties – don’t get to, too! How else can you celebrate G.O.D. (Getting. On. Dick.) than bi-(curious) resu(e)rrecting your own (ball)sac(k)religious ready-2-scare?!?! U gotta show that ur the caesar (dressing) that lives in ur own palace. If the pope gets God-y/gaudy, so can u! Royal Napalm, fashionasties!


2) FERNGULLY FAERIES

Besides serving G.O.D. around this time of year, my second cumming of Jesus Christy Almighty cums from the (savage) garden. Who’s flower are you going to take (sinspiration) from this Spring??? Some say floral is obvious, butt, in only true bloom fashionasty form, we don’t just wear flowers, we’re the mother(nature)fucking forest. Be the pollen to your own honey this spring, and sting the couture competish with your fergully faerie fashion. Can you get any more ga(y)elic(k) than this?!

3) If you didn’t really have the happenstance to take a chance on No.2, never fear, fashionasties! Rather than Baby’s Breathe, just drop the breath, and be the BABY. U don’t even have to swab some swaddling clothes in the manger either, fashionasties. One size fits all, so the tighter the squeeze, the better!!!


That concludes Fashionasty’s spring (boner) predickxxxions! Just get out there and resu(e)rrect ur runway and you’ll be the god-y/gaudiest hautie ever!!!

666,

© JAKE THOMPSON

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About fashionastyjake

Fashionasty is a state of mind, a lifestyle, and a trend that will never die young. I like borderline ugly street fashion. I like burgers. I'm desperate to find you.
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