Spring (boners) are in full bloom, fashionasties! Like an early bird special, I’ve officially hatched my easter eggs (a little premature)…becuz we all know Him with a capital “H – I – M,” is having the biggest borner of all time right now. I mean, c’mon, think about it: He’s six feet under, butt he still gets to RISE his erection again on the third d(g)ay every year. Rosary beads aren’t just for praying (if you catch my drift!)
Are you having a Manic Monday, fashionasties?!
Spring God-y/Gaudy Predickxxxions
Let’s ga(y)ze into my crystal balls, as we (s)explore all the looks that will help you snatch your spring cat back on the fashionasty runway for life!
1) RESU(E)RRECTION READY-2-SCARE
Just becuz Jesus (Hay-Zeus) Christo gets to have his second cumming (and eat it too!), does naught(y) mean that we – fashionasties – don’t get to, too! How else can you celebrate G.O.D. (Getting. On. Dick.) than bi-(curious) resu(e)rrecting your own (ball)sac(k)religious ready-2-scare?!?! U gotta show that ur the caesar (dressing) that lives in ur own palace. If the pope gets God-y/gaudy, so can u! Royal Napalm, fashionasties!
Besides serving G.O.D. around this time of year, my second cumming of Jesus Christy Almighty cums from the (savage) garden. Who’s flower are you going to take (sinspiration) from this Spring??? Some say floral is obvious, butt, in only true bloom fashionasty form, we don’t just wear flowers, we’re the mother(nature)fucking forest. Be the pollen to your own honey this spring, and sting the couture competish with your fergully faerie fashion. Can you get any more ga(y)elic(k) than this?!
3) If you didn’t really have the happenstance to take a chance on No.2, never fear, fashionasties! Rather than Baby’s Breathe, just drop the breath, and be the BABY. U don’t even have to swab some swaddling clothes in the manger either, fashionasties. One size fits all, so the tighter the squeeze, the better!!!
© JAKE THOMPSON