My So Called (Second) Life & The Fashionasty Food Chain Δ: Ricky > Rayanne > Angela

[“Avatar Chase” Original (f)Art by Jake Thompson]

Every morning (this past week) when I wake up there’s a Jordan Cata-halo-lano hanging from the corner of my Macbook’s screen-grab’s four-post bed.

[“Pentagram 4-Post” Original (f)Art by Jake Thompson]

And thanxxx to Netflixxx instanasty, u can too, fashionasties!

That’s right! The ENTIRE series is up for ur (sock-on-the-door-handle) viewing.

It hasn’t been this GUILTY to PLEASURE behind closed curtains since True Blood Season 3. Don’t act like ur naught(y) gonna go code fuschia on ur fashionasty fanny and make a (pregnancy) pact with the undead when it returns from the grave this June. There will be (true) blood parties at my haus when the tombstone’s out of the fashionasTV closet this summer. Nerd nasty alert!!!

My So Called Life. I was SE7EN when the first (and last) season originally came out, but my older sister was the Eminem to Angela’s Mariah a.k.a. OBSESSED at the time, so the show’s remained engrained in my memory for as long as I can remember.

My first thoughts go back to the episode after Rayanne Graff hooks up with Jordan Catalano, so Angela gives them both the cold shoulder and throws herself at the boi wonder in her art class that Ricky also likes. Phew!


Ricky calls her out on it, and they make up all within 44 minutes (no commercials on netnasstyflixxx!) And NOW after watching the entirity of the 19 episode season – EW, I’M HAVING MAJOR SEPERATION ANXXXIETY – Ricky’s Gryffindor moment – encouraging his own lion heart to stick up to his friend – resonated with me naught(y) only then, butt also now SIXTEEN years later!

With so many social media outlet malls nowadays, where do we talk shop in real life? My So Called Life had me question: is the internet real life, or is it just fantasty???!!! Ricky stood out as the only character that won’t be (Live. Action. Role. Playing) at the Ren Fest this summer, nor will he be making his life second best, because he’s on second life, bc he’ll actually be living the fashionasty life in REAL LIFE.

Only half of Fashionasty exists online. It’s ur half-way haus to looking and feeling fabulous just the w(g)ay u r!!! But the other half of the quarter pounder with (govt) chze exists on your own driv-thru fashionasty lane! U’ve gotta make ur own menu, and live it to get it in real life.

Thus the My So Called (Second) Life & Fashionasty Food Chain Δ was birthed.


1) Ricky

Naught(y) to be bi-curious-as bc Ricky is the most AbFag,
butt, if u like livin’ la vida loca, being a true blue friend that sticks up 4 her sistahs, and having fashionasty flair and hair, then UR naught(y) only on the top of the pyramid, ur also the F.F.C. Δ.E.O.Y. (Fashionasty. Food. Chain. Δ. Employee. Of. the. Year.) Plus, gold goes with everything!!! 

2) Rayanne

First is the bratwurst, butt second is the best!
Rayanne cums in silver place bc two words: YELLOW. STRIPE. 90’s Raver is never passe! Towanda LaMay & I have managed to drunkenly get more crunk while trying to be born this blonde. Our yellow stripes, are more like gold streaks, butt that’s because RealHausWivesofHennepinCounty are IMMORTAL. Butt, Rayanne went to the elastic of her own scrunchie and had one of the most top-knotch fashionasty closets of all time.

3) Angela

Bronze is still a cute look.
Remember, fashionasties are always winners/weiners!!!
Angela let her head get in the w(g)ay a lot of the time, so her avatar he(f)art, body, & soul were doing most of the living. Fashionasties are smart bad-asses, butt she needed to put the confidence in her tartar sauce in the present, naught(y) the future. That w(g)ay, her fillet of fish would put the stinky all over her pinky!!!

Either w(g)ay the cookie crumbles, fashionasties don’t put one another on a fast food chain Δ. We’re all may be from different foodie groupies, butt, we’re all cut from the same dough, and we gotta stick our butters together, so we can be extra chewy & gooey.

[Valencia, CA. Vintage, Jake Thompson]






About fashionastyjake

Fashionasty is a state of mind, a lifestyle, and a trend that will never die young. I like borderline ugly street fashion. I like burgers. I'm desperate to find you.
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