Hairy $ocialite ($)existentialist: How 2 Let Ur Hair Down, Comb Ur Care, & Frizz Ur Flair

n./adj. lifestyle
1) Purpose of life.
2) Letting it all hang out.

Hairy Socialite (S)existentialist:
How 2 Let Ur Hair Down, Comb Ur Care, & Frizz Ur Flair

As Fa†her Fashionasty, I’ll never tell u how to live ur life fashionasties, butt one thing I know for certain is that u have 2 reach a certain level of hairy soph(fis)tication to live the life u want, let ur care down, & let it all hang out.


I don’t care about ur hair, butt I care about ur FLAIR! This isn’t about having the most fabulous follicles, it’s about naught(y) letting anyone CRIMP ur steez!!! H8erz r gonna continue to sip on their h8erade becuz they only wish they could be such a delicious double decker supreme, butt you should never, can’t stop, won’t stop, til ur tasty enuff!!! If you let them get under ur hair, u’ll frizzy and have a tizzy (and that’s naught[y] a cute look!) Who r they to cuntrol ur comb…only U can brush ur beauty everyday!

Once u allow urself to feel as FREE as ur hair/care/flair, u’ll realize that U – yes – glittery, glamorous U – have  sucksexfully master(bat)ed step 1 of becumming a H.$.$. (Hairy Socialite [S]existintialist).


The only w(g)ay ur ever gonna fill up ur little black book with digital diggies, is if the first diggie u finger everyd(g)ay is urself! U have to be in cuntrol of the dial otherwise u’ll be locked in ur own cellie for ur tellie. Once u acknowledge this simple notion, fashionasties will take notice. Now u can hatch from ur cacoon-a matata, and be the social butterfly u always (wet) dreamed of!


U’ve reached the final step to letting ur hair down! That’s just it. U’ve (we’ve) st(f)arted ur (our) very own fillosophy. No freudian slips here/queer! We filled ourselves up with so much love, we can now be the Hairy Socialite (S)existientialist we always wanted to be!

Let’s be as free as our hair, fashionasties!!!

This post is approved by the Hairy Socialite (S)existentilialist, Buffy St. Marie:

[Photos by Melissa Hesse]




About fashionastyjake

Fashionasty is a state of mind, a lifestyle, and a trend that will never die young. I like borderline ugly street fashion. I like burgers. I'm desperate to find you.
This entry was posted in Fashionasty Studies. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Hairy $ocialite ($)existentialist: How 2 Let Ur Hair Down, Comb Ur Care, & Frizz Ur Flair

  1. becky says:

    do you seriously have those alexander wang sunglasses?! my eyes are turning green.

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