Let’s TALK ABOUT BODY.
Let’s talk about u and me.
Let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be.
Let’s talk about J.D.
To paraphrase J.D. Samson, “Who [ are we] to feel so free?” From the non-stop dance-til-ur-heart-flops traxxx, to the almost forgotten multiple tequila shot conceptions, how could you not feel SO FREE at the MEN concert last Wednesday night???
I didn’t want to be tardy for the party butt since I don’t have Cher Horowitz’s outfit matching software, I had an achy breaky tart of a time deciding between a haute pink jumpsuit OR a black snakeskin jumpsuit with leopard flames. I KNOW! I’m notoriously known for major decision-making anxxxiety anyw(g)ays, butt I really wanted to impress J.D. It doesn’t matter if I’m ordering an americano or a capital M-A-R-T-I-N-I, I almost always flip my omelette early bird style, & wind up getting something fabulously douchey that I wasn’t really interested in, in the first place. The life of a fashionasty can be so ruff ‘n tuff sometimes!!! W.W.J.D.W?! (What Would J.D. Wear?!)
Well, flash forward to the dance floor where the best dirties of the queers cum out! After J.D. smirked at the Real Haus Wives of Hennepin County multiple times – to which we responded with proud pre-adolescent squeals – that would’ve put all the Backstreet Boys fangirls from the mid-90’s to shame btw – everyBODY practically was in their birthday suits midw(g)ay thru. Just sweat and glitter.
The best outfit you can wear is ur own (fore)skin. To love the fashionasty body ur in! So al though, I ultimately wound up looking like Birdie from McDonald’s, that’s naught(y) AT ALL what living life in the fashionasty lane is about…
To quote Men, “I’m gonna fuck my friends, and get a little tiny baby in…” is the key to unlocking ur chasity belt so u can harness ur inner fashionasty. Being fashionable is never the ultimate goal. By nature, fashionasties are always gonna be killin’ it on the streets, I mean, c’mon, duh, obviously. Butt, it’s the NA$TY that you need to get it in with. All of us, in our gorgeousness were writhing, wrathing, and wilding out 2gether as one machine. Like one giant trannysformer. Our own personal maenad party. We were taking it off our backs & trying to get a little tiny gay-by in…becuz…well, we were born this gay, credit card babies. Our plan for a newborn gay nation(creation).
© JAKE THOMPSON