Marry The FashionastyWeekly Night: Peggy Bundy Vs. Kelly Bundy


FashionastyWeekly: Peggy Bundy Vs. Kelly Bundy
Are you a Haute Mami, or a Naught(y) Totty?

Teaze ur steez, pull up ur polyester party pants, & chainsmoke til u choke…

[Photo by Peter Hogan]

Peggy Bundy went down to vinyl-covered couch town last Saturday night.

Usually, I don’t like to hug nuclear (arms) family values,
butt the Bundy’s are a Big Mac (s)exception…

Eccentric. Stylish. & downright Nasty – the Bundy’s were equal p(f)arts Fashion & Nasty.  Radically contrasting from the sugar-cookie-coated saturated families of other popular family sitcoms (i.e. Growing Pains, Family Matters, etc.), The Bundys kept it Nasty.

Mz. Bundy, if ur nasty!

So…I prose this simple polyester question:

Which way do you want me to Butter Ur Bundy?
Are you a Peggy or a Kelly?

1) Peg Bundy


For the wealth of my youth, I would put Peggy Bundy AND Joyce from Edward Scissorhands in the same MIXing bowl, and would confuse the two just like the way Lauren DeLand & Katie Delaney confuse my sexual orientation from time to time…

“Why Edward, I see you haven’t tried my Ambrosia Salad?”

*Cumming soon: An entire post dedicated to the Valley of the Dahlings that tawked & rawked Edward’s scissors (& hands if u catch my drift!)

Do you naught(y) see the uncanny resemblance??? These bitches get five stitches because they knew their hemlines, hairlines, and liplines. Like Hayley the Co(smetics)met, these gems only cum around once in a lifetime!

Tossing salads cums to Peggy as easy as an easy-bake-oven!

Are you more of a material girl than a maternal girl? Have your fashionasty comrades called you a Polyester Princess? Are you Big Red aka Code Red all the time??? Well than you most certainly wear the strech pants in this relationship…you are a PEGGY BUNDY!


Peg Bundy was ur contempo casual version of a Gwen Stefani adonis…she could wear ANYTHANG, and werq the shag rug runway. 

She imprinted on any animal print the way Jacob did to Bella…


…her gold lamé put her in direct haute seat competish with
Leslie & made her tell no more Lys…


…and she definitely disciplined the bondage of every leather and lace she don perrioned…

On top of it – LITERALLY – ON TOP of that haughty head…


That beehive not only puts every rock lobster in the boiler, but – and I will never repeat this again and can’t believe I’m saying this – makes Fran Fine’s bump-it speed bump into a yellow cone crash zone!

And if at all else f(l)ails, she was downright cameltoe SMOKIN’ HAUTE:


2) Kelly Bundy


Are u the Lita to ur Ford? Or rather, are u the Lolita to ur Nabokov?

If you smoked cigarettes in the grrl’s bathroom, and purrfected the BEND in the boi’s boom boom, then you were most likely a KELLY BUNDY!

Like a fashionasty, subtlety wasn’t in Kelly’s vocabulary! Unlike Posh Spice questioning whether she should wear the little Gucci dress, or the little Gucci dress, Kelly nixes the question and rocks her mico-mini-coochie dress.


Forgive me Father, for I have sinned!

Kelly starred in the Gothman Prophecies on the daily
and knew how to tempt Jesus & Judas simultaneously…


Kelly drove the motorcycle in her relationship with clothes.
They didn’t drive her, she rode them!

Hello daddy, hello mom, I’m ur Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly bomb!

Peggy Bundy held at Madame really put the Marlboro in our spirits! Sexy purrformances by Super Salon, Rugburns, Marsha Stoned, Jamburglar, & Real Hauswives of Hennepin County & xxxclusive cocktails by Becky Squirts.

This post is approved by Peggy & Kelly aka Mother-Daughter act:

THE JUGGS!


It’s Bundy Bitch,

© JAKE THOMPSON

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About fashionastyjake

Fashionasty is a state of mind, a lifestyle, and a trend that will never die young. I like borderline ugly street fashion. I like burgers. I'm desperate to find you.
This entry was posted in Fashionasty Studies. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Marry The FashionastyWeekly Night: Peggy Bundy Vs. Kelly Bundy

  1. Maggie says:

    LESLIE AND THE LYS!!!!!!!!!!!! GOLD PANTS!!!!!!!

    SHE IS MY ICONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!

  2. Rugburns says:

    Oh, honey. No confusion here: my sexuality is completely oriented towards you.

  3. Pingback: ғaѕнιonaѕтy dιgeѕт: weeĸly wrιтιngѕ on тнe wall #1 | fashionasty

  4. madambrownie says:

    Um… I only read a few sentences before I fell in love with this website.

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