Teaze ur steez, pull up ur polyester party pants, & chainsmoke til u choke…
Peggy Bundy went down to vinyl-covered couch town last Saturday night.
Usually, I don’t like to hug nuclear (arms) family values,
butt the Bundy’s are a Big Mac (s)exception…
Eccentric. Stylish. & downright Nasty – the Bundy’s were equal p(f)arts Fashion & Nasty. Radically contrasting from the sugar-cookie-coated saturated families of other popular family sitcoms (i.e. Growing Pains, Family Matters, etc.), The Bundys kept it Nasty.
Mz. Bundy, if ur nasty!
So…I prose this simple polyester question:
Which way do you want me to Butter Ur Bundy?
Are you a Peggy or a Kelly?
1) Peg Bundy
For the wealth of my youth, I would put Peggy Bundy AND Joyce from Edward Scissorhands in the same MIXing bowl, and would confuse the two just like the way Lauren DeLand & Katie Delaney confuse my sexual orientation from time to time…
*Cumming soon: An entire post dedicated to the Valley of the Dahlings that tawked & rawked Edward’s scissors (& hands if u catch my drift!)
Do you naught(y) see the uncanny resemblance??? These bitches get five stitches because they knew their hemlines, hairlines, and liplines. Like Hayley the Co(smetics)met, these gems only cum around once in a lifetime!
Are you more of a material girl than a maternal girl? Have your fashionasty comrades called you a Polyester Princess? Are you Big Red aka Code Red all the time??? Well than you most certainly wear the strech pants in this relationship…you are a PEGGY BUNDY!
She imprinted on any animal print the way Jacob did to Bella…
On top of it – LITERALLY – ON TOP of that haughty head…
That beehive not only puts every rock lobster in the boiler, but – and I will never repeat this again and can’t believe I’m saying this – makes Fran Fine’s bump-it speed bump into a yellow cone crash zone!
And if at all else f(l)ails, she was downright cameltoe SMOKIN’ HAUTE:
If you smoked cigarettes in the grrl’s bathroom, and purrfected the BEND in the boi’s boom boom, then you were most likely a KELLY BUNDY!
Like a fashionasty, subtlety wasn’t in Kelly’s vocabulary! Unlike Posh Spice questioning whether she should wear the little Gucci dress, or the little Gucci dress, Kelly nixes the question and rocks her mico-mini-coochie dress.
Kelly starred in the Gothman Prophecies on the daily
and knew how to tempt Jesus & Judas simultaneously…
Hello daddy, hello mom, I’m ur Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly bomb!
Peggy Bundy held at Madame really put the Marlboro in our spirits! Sexy purrformances by Super Salon, Rugburns, Marsha Stoned, Jamburglar, & Real Hauswives of Hennepin County & xxxclusive cocktails by Becky Squirts.
This post is approved by Peggy & Kelly aka Mother-Daughter act:
It’s Bundy Bitch,
© JAKE THOMPSON