All I ask is that u CUM AS U R…
I’m here/queer to service you.
So naturally, in the words of Destiny’s Child, “I want to cater 2 u.”
Have you always been super jelly of the Haus of McDonald’s fashion bellies? I have! Do you get so horny when an onion ring got effed by a fry? I do! Did you wanna get that Big Mac Heart Attack Daddy look? Always! Then I hope ur hungry fashionasties because I’m gonna take YOU on a tour de french fries in my Burger Mobile…
1) Before we can pack a crunch and carpet munch on some burger brunch, let’s flip it Pattie Hearst-style & reverse it as we stroll down to Hamburg, Germany and eat some BURGER PHA$ION with our eyes/thighs:
1) RONALD MCDONALD: Yah. Uh-huh. Y’know what it is. Red & Yellow, Red & Yellow, Red & Yellow, Red & Yellow…Can you play ketchup with this clown couture? He’s got the IT look.
2) HAMBURGLAR: If you’re like Khia & you wanna snatch the cat back, then u’ll wanna be the jailbait to this bird. It’ll werq ur neck & ur back (just don’t drop the soap!)
If you’re not like Michael Jackson, and you don’t have any white or black in ur fashionasty closet, don’t sweat it, burger babes! Just do something CRIMINAL & you’ll be a better brand of beef, because your Hamburglar butter will taste better…
JUST REMEMBER: do urself a solid (I know it’s tuff with fast food indigestion)
& make sure ur mugshot is mugHOT:
4) BIRDIE: R u (haute, sticky) sweet AND sour? R u the BB(C) in ur Q’s sauce? R u like a bird? Do u wanna fly aw(g)ay…no need to look further. Pull up ur grill, & take all ur (skinny) dipping dress(ings)es out becuz ur the (Alexander) McNugget Queen. In the words of R. Kelly, “I believe we can fly, fashionasties!”
Smile for the camera and say, “Government Cheeze!”
© JAKE THOMPSON