The (Se)x-Files: Alien Apparel


Fashionasties make my heart go BOOM BOOM:

What makes ur sparkly achy breaky tart go kaboom, boom, boom, fashionasties?! Like Aqua, what makes you want them in ur (double) room?! To paraphrase Nicki Minaj, fashionasties are never on a diet because our (hot) pockets are eatin’ homo-made cheesecake filled with a(n apple)bottomless supply of HEARTS, HUGS, & LOVE maid from scratch (& sniff!)…

*I actually would never want to scratch & sniff this bitch becuz she reeks with a homophobic stench of hypocrisy. Minaj throws ‘faggot’ around butt claims she’s some gay liberator. Sorry Nicki, you’re still the rookie in my eyes/thighs…

That being said, fashionasties tummies are always full becuz luv cums in a RAINBOW of shades, mysterious w(g)ays, and doesn’t have to be solely romantic – so long as it’s consensual. So if u don’t have a supernova girl this hallmark holigay, I’m always here/queer for you & I’ll be ur (Skeeter) Valentine any day…

So let’s get to the MEAT of this juicy lucy post! Wanna know the LOOK that’s not only out of this world, butt will guarantee 100 Proof that you will put the sex in ur files this Valentine’s holigay?


Admittedly, Gaga’s horn(y)s & pointy shoulders at last night’s Grammy’s materialized the spark to this Valentine’s d(g)ay post’s plug. Originally, I was to do a post, Be My (Skeeter) Valentine: Doug Funnie Fashion (which it is STILL in the werqs my fashionasty comrades, so look for it cumming soon!)…

Butt an EGG of ewphoria CRACKED over me…

…when Gaga hatched a hen of a speech, vowing that she imagined Whitney Houston singing Born This W(g)ay…

Hmm…I wonder if someone else’s omelette totally got scrambled from this?

If you wanna get it to win it Scully-Mulder style, you’re gonna have to put the U in the F in ur O (if you catch my flying saucer!) Essentially, ur gonna practically have to live action role play in order to crunch into ur partner’s bag ‘o Lays (betcha can’t have just one!) Butt this can be loads of fun becuz nothing says ab(s)duction like face planting on someone else’s orbitz, first. Getting into ur (s)extra terrestrial character will not only make the planetarium revolve around ur sun & full moon, butt it will also rocket ur luver’s eye sockets out when they see how haute you look & feel!

C’mon fashionasties, it’s time to SPACE JAM!!!

So put on ur bug sunglasses & silver lipstick fashionasties!

Remember, we never wanna miss a thang:

Fly ur fashionasty saucers high!!!

[Photo taken by Amalia Nicholson of Double Vision]

*Be sure to look out for my Honeysuckle can suck it, Honey: Purple (Fashionasty Week) Color of 2011 post cumming soon featuring more photos taken by my life partner, sparkle sister, & fashion blogger: Amalia Nicholson.

This post has been approved by Alvin Ailey’s “Revelations” dancers:




About fashionastyjake

Fashionasty is a state of mind, a lifestyle, and a trend that will never die young. I like borderline ugly street fashion. I like burgers. I'm desperate to find you.
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3 Responses to The (Se)x-Files: Alien Apparel

  1. Alexis says:

    Go alien fashion! Gaga’s egg looked comfy. Can’t wait to hear what Madonna thinks of Gaga’s “Born This Way” — think she’ll eventually comment?

  2. Mersies says:

    Luvvvvvvs the chiffon look on u in particular 😉 glad 2 see said chiffon was put to good use…

  3. Pingback: ғaѕнιonaѕтy dιgeѕт: weeĸly wrιтιngѕ on тнe wall #1 | fashionasty

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