More like (piz)Za za za za za…
Besides knowing how to put the polka in her dots, pair every color scrunchy with matching jersey shorts, put up with her kid-brother Ferguson & her mom’s tofu sundaes, have a dreamy best friend/friend-with-benefits Sam, AND have a pet crocodile, Clarissa Darling really does (s)explain it all: PIZZA. Clarissa Life met Fashionasty Life on a pie chart built for two: Pizza trumps Shopping and Sleeping. Hands down. Duh.
But other than the obvious reasons: RISING dough…THICK-crust…(Big) Hand(sy)-tossed (salad)…(S)extra toppings…(Dick)cheesey goodness…Deep (throat) dish…
It no longer has to be JUST Delivery or DiGorno fashionasties…
1) Don’t be shy. If you’re gonna embrace ur inner dough, you’ve gotta get down ‘n dirrrty with ur pizza and thighs, first.
2) Next, you’ll wanna sink ur teeth into some of these fashionasty fixings to complete ur haute dish look:
Rather than serving urself up a pizza slice of Coco Chanel’s infamous words: “When access(ex)orising, always take off the last thing you put on,” Take a bite of advice from Scary-Kate and Smashley’s pizza slice instead: YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MANY TOPPING$:
Butt…the pizza phun doesn’t stop here/queer fashionasties…
3) Like most of my posts, rather than JUST garnishing a garb on the go…being Fashionasty is much, much deep(er) dish than that. At the end of ur fashionasty life, BEFORE YOU DIE, WHAT DO YOU WANT (IT TO SAY) ON UR TOMBSTONE???
That you were a shallow, picky, person like the dude in the above Tombstone commercial? H – E – L – L 2 THE NO. Fashionasties are beautiful, purrfect, pizza bagel bites, because our crust is more than what’s skin deep (dish).
So if u’ve ever been called a PIZZAFACE, don’t hide in regret, nuke some Totinos Pizza Rolls in the micro and ur set, ur on the right track fashionasty, you were born this w(g)ay.
Just be PizzaActiv instead.
Turn that Pizza frown upside down, because ur phresh out the box: UR ALL THAT.
© JAKE THOMPSON