Bubble (Wet) Dreams: Pop It Like It’s Haute

Fashionasties never need a reason to celebrate. Like a blizzard, we’re always poppin’ bottles in the ice.


And if you’re like me, you too can make the lovely folks at Franklin-Nicolett Liquors think that you’re going to a New Year’s Eve party every night. Unfortunately, the Alpha Fags & I tend to clear out their Andre’s almost every time so you’ll have to settle for Korbel…sorry. Good taste cums with a price, fashionasties!

Butt it got me thinkin’ about how much I love funneling those fizzy fountains of blurry bubble inhibition into my fashionasty fiber and Pop, Lock & Drop it: I had a fashionasty post epiphany: BUBBLE FA$HION so dreamy it’ll keep your sheets wet for d(g)ays!

There’s a jacuzzi full of Bubbles that are poppin’ it like it’s haute at Fashionasty Headquarters…

*CUMMING SOON: Toon in for an ENTIRE post dedicated to Absolutely Fabulous’ “Bubble.”

For the majority of us fashionasties, we can’t pay top stylists David LaChapelle to pop our cherry top…butt there are still w(g)ays to get the Bubble Blow(job) done.


1) Bubble Wrap: Nothing says “Open my pandora’s boxx,” more than wrapping it up and werqing it out. Not only will you make wearing protexxxion dead sexy, but people will want to (s)express overnight ship, lip, and nip you.


There’s no w(g)ay you’ll be a MISSING PERSON at a champagnatration partay with this look!


*Remember, keepin’ it classy while gettin’ trashy is the tastiest snack wrap of all!

2) BUBBLE GUM.

Meat famous stylist & Fashionasty’s best friend/big brotha,
DOREEN HOFF.

This look will not only cost you a measly quarter from ur coin slot, butt it’ll also keep u chic(let) all night long! PLUS: it cums in a rainbow of colors & flavors, so the possibilities are bubbleless!


Hubba Bubba!

3) The last w(g)ay to achieve the bubble magic is by far the best! It’s both inexpensive AND organic…


3)$OAP $(T)UD$. Your bubble bod will be the palaak to any porcelain party’s paneer. What keeps this fash to the nast is that since it requires just your birthday suit, u can keep it lavish times twelve charging bougie soaps to ur d-a-d-d-y’s credit card.


Bubble, bubble, toil & trouble.

Get outta ur bubble zone and into someone else’s tub!


Desperately seeking soap suds,

© JAKE THOMPSON

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About fashionastyjake

Fashionasty is a state of mind, a lifestyle, and a trend that will never die young. I like borderline ugly street fashion. I like burgers. I'm desperate to find you.
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2 Responses to Bubble (Wet) Dreams: Pop It Like It’s Haute

  1. Chad Dilley says:

    Love IT!! so funny! X .. X
    0

  2. Pingback: ғaѕнιonaѕтy dιgeѕт: weeĸly wrιтιngѕ on тнe wall #2 | fashionasty

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