Naught(y) “Demented,” Just D-I-V-I-N-E: How U Can Never Be “2 PHAT”

This (sc)article: In Praise of Demented Fashion Icons is pretty poopy if you scat me…

Al though I’m happy (meal) that John Water’s Divine is getting the credit she deserves…I’m having (female) trouble with three things:

1) putting Gaga’s (u know I luv her, butt…) & Divine’s style on the same-level playing field is a big No, No, Nanette in my book. Divine, played by Harris Glenn Milstead, was crowned “The Drag Queen of the Century” by Time Magazine in the eighties. Divine is too fashionasty forward to sit on the shelf with Mother Monster. Pretty desperate living of this author to compare her with the Haus of Gaga.

PLUS: Godga’s most influential (s)inspirations include Andy Warhol & Grace Jones (who Grace publicly vocalizes no interest in collaborating with Gagalupe)…while Divine was actual pAAArty pals with the two in their prime (rib)!

2) “Demented” is a peculiar word for describing Divine’s style. Maybe they should’ve been more specific by complimenting her with “Queer.” I can name ten of my fabulous dirrrty queer baby loves off the top of my head who have mad style. Since when did being fashionasty equal being demented?

(S)expecto patronum, if you ask me!

and 3) Let’s get body positive, dammit! That’s XXXactly why we adore Divine. “Obese” is one way to look at it. Fashionasty is another! We don’t believe in “fat” and “skinny” here at Fashionasty Headquarters. And neither should you! Life is wasted counting calories. I say count the number of digits you have in ur little black book, instead! If you feel haute to trot, peeps will notice and FORK over not only their biznasty card, butt they will also SPOON you in and scoop you up, too. Toss out that scale and let someone toss ur salad, instead! Hold the “dressing” for a minute & look back at the naked piece of meat staring back at you in the mirror.

Repeat this daily mantra every morning when you wake up in ur gf’s four-post bed: “I’m a super foodie and YOU are lookin’ tasty!” Yum. Yum. Yum. Watever size, shape, shift you cum in…fashun should be PHUN for everyone.

Remember fashionasties, it’s never that we are “2 fat.” It’s that we’re “2 PHAT.”

Werq bitches. Ur divine. Always & 4ever.

XOXO,

© JAKE THOMPSON

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About fashionastyjake

Fashionasty is a state of mind, a lifestyle, and a trend that will never die young. I like borderline ugly street fashion. I like burgers. I'm desperate to find you.
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One Response to Naught(y) “Demented,” Just D-I-V-I-N-E: How U Can Never Be “2 PHAT”

  1. Pingback: ғaѕнιonaѕтy dιgeѕт: weeĸly wrιтιngѕ on тнe wall #1 | fashionasty

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