Sometimes, fashionasties…I run. Sometimes I hide. Sometimes I’m scarred of goodbyes/good buys. Have you ever had a glitter moment in a thrift store or antique shop where that one fashionasty must-have just miraculously materializes there on the spot?! Do you spontaneously combust – exploding into a million pretty little things?! Well, I do. All the time. To quote Alan Ball, “Sometimes there’s so much beauty in the world I feel like I can’t take it, like my heart’s going to cave in.” Well, boi do I have a tail of two mink stoles to share…
If the glass slipper breaks Cinderella, say good bye to the old and just buy another. Duh.
So…Once upon a time recently, I – along with my band of outsliders performed somewhat of a crucible on my beloved mink stole, my four furry friends…I can’t help it that there was a jacuzzi involved and enuff champagne to make the world go round. I’m only humanimal, don’t judge.
Butt in the words of the late-gr8-vampire-date AAAliyah, U can dust it off, and BUY again! Besides, as Maya Angelou says, “I know why the caged mink stinks.” My furry friends sat perch sided on my glittery shoulders, providing me with enuff solace to crash Armma-get-it-on in the solarsphere, and it was time to say good bye. Swim my little pretties. You are living the fashionasty life in the sewers of St. Paul and that makes me the happiest of snappy meals. I’m lovin’ it.
The Kraft of biding furwell can be furmatic. It’s tuff to klean out ur closet (I know, Eminem is havin’ a hard time!) Don’t get trapped like R. Kelly, every fashionasty is entitled to exorcise some of their wardrobe. Donatin’, regiftin’, and renewin’ are all worthy causes, fashionasties. Butt, the best act of kindness is adopting. I’m not gonna go Sarah McLachlan on ur a$$, butt you can’t deny those glue-gun lovin’ beaded eyes of matted and patted carcass couture.
With a hangover and a fur-yearning heart that needed to be fixxxed, I stumbed upon the Antique Mall of St. Paul and although there wasn’t a genie aka a weenie-in-a-bottle, I sure got my wish! And I didn’t even have to rub one out (if you know what I mean!)
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Remember, it’s NEVER a good bye fashionasties, it’s a good buy and a see-u-soon AKA see-you-next-tuesday!!!
© JAKE THOMPSON