Giving Head

Don’t blow your load fashionasties…
Butt, we want to acknowledge an acce$$ory that often goes ignored!!!
HEADWARE.


Bow(ery)-Wow-Wow-Yippie-Yo-Yippie-Yea.

We here at Glitter Nation headquarters know how important it is to look the fashionastiest from the floor up to the toe up when going out on the town, walking the scatwalk, on foot patrol. We suck in the j – e- l – l – 0, pull up the lycra, don some powder pom poms and werk what our burger mama’s gave us.
Fashionasties are always the talk of the town & the life of the party…it’s simple fact. With such eccentric style and charm, logic would have it that our glitter confidence and living in the fast food lane would only support our a$$ethetic to reach for the stars. THIGHS THE LIMIT. So why do we often forget to pop the cherry on top?! The (black) cherry chapstick. If we can dress the part, can’t we stress ornate HEADPIECES?!
The most positive out-cum of sporting haute hatware is that fashionasties can now give head anytime, anywhere, with anyone! In the grocery store, at work, and even banging on the bedroom floor (it wasn’t me!) By topping off your look with a hat garment, we can now give head without:
a) bending over in a barn
b) kneeling on both knees in an airport glory hole
c) swallowing and getting the ultimate cheeze (if you catch this drift!)
d) all the above!!!
Are you (nickelodeon) afraid of the starch?! Do you live in fear that you don’t have a hat head?! Heart-shaped face?! (New) Moon phase?! Phatty made a No-No?!

DON’T LIVE IN FEAR.COM!!! If Blossom could do it, than so can JEW!!!
A Fashionasty favorite Femme (Nikita) Fetale of ours has most recently, and notably been emphasizing the hauteness in hats across the pond for her UK leg of her tour. We’re calling upon none other than Lady Gay Gay:

Be the Smooth to your Operator in total hat hauteness.

Kiss from the Rose.

Dionysusnasty from Head 2 Toe.

Gaga’s diet revealed: SEAFOOD DIET! See food & eat it!
Don’t let the rainy days and mondays always get you down. Don’t let the weather be your number one excuse for wearing sweats & crocs to work. Never fail your accessory intuition…so put down the umbrella, and put on the headware!!! No fashionasty will ever be seen in the “Soccer Mom” look. We want to be starring in our own personal reality show, “What not to scare,” not, “What not to care!”

So pull out your pillbox hats and be the Onassstiest Jackie O you can be!!!


The Haus of Yes fully endorses dressing up your head.

The Ultimate H.B.I.C. (Hat Biotch In Charge) Leigh Bowery approves this post!
Hautes off to all you fabulous fashionasties!
Xoxo,

© JAKE THOMPSON

 

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About fashionastyjake

Fashionasty is a state of mind, a lifestyle, and a trend that will never die young. I like borderline ugly street fashion. I like burgers. I'm desperate to find you.
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