It should cum as no secret that fashionasties are hungry self-promoters. As we should be!!! We are divine. We are the epicenter of the universe. It’s important for every fashionasty to know that they are the most fabulous fawn at the fete. DON’T GET IT TWISTED. What we here at Glitter Nation headquarters are trying to tell you is that, NO SHAME, NO GAME. That is why Robyn Cradles & T.O.W.M. (The Other White Meat) formally known as The Hamburglar whored themselves in a reality TV contest…and we made PAGE SIX of GAWKER!!! (We bolded our response!)
Last week we posted a casting notice for a real-life Will & Grace reality show, even though we didn’t think that any gay readers or their straight-girl besties would actually want to be on such a program. We were wrong.
Since putting the post up, which called any potential cast members “sad, dateless codependents,” we’ve received a raft of emails begging us for more info about how to get on this wonderful-sounding reality program. See, we didn’t put up the casting company’s info because we were positive that no one — surely none of our savvy readers! — would actually want to subject themselves to programs about gay minstrels and the lonely sadgirls that own them. But people are clamoring for the details! People who describe their friendships like this:
When we are out on the town on the prowl for men, hands down, it is the funniest form of entertainment. We think we are mega babes, but somehow we both wind up meeting the worst kinds of men (i.e. Hipster boys, grotty old farts, or Talented Mr. Ripley types). We run into ex boyfriends, we spill drinks, we are the real life PAGE SIX. Every time we go out we play a game we made up: “Are you gay or straight?” because most of the guys that approach us are ambiguous and hit on both of us. You can’t write or make this stuff up! We often think God is playing a big, fat, joke on us. As much as we enjoy being single, there are times we both want to meet Mr. Right, or at least find someone to cuddle with us on cold winter nights. Lord knows, we’ve given it the old college try with one another! Haha!
Shudder, right? The person who sent us that one works on Ugly Betty, naturally.
Potential candidates also had this to say about themselves:
We have two cats, share many interests, and are basically like brother and sister/codependent single gals.
We bet you have two cats! Oh you gals.
Now every fashionasty must accept that their will be h8ers to the left on your rise to PHAME. But don’t get mad. Get glaad. Knowing that your former arch-nemisist stalks you on facebook in a nonchalent-yet-ever-so-desperate way is equally pathetic, but ever so enticing.They will always be the Scat-of-the-Moon. And you will rise from the ashes like the flaming phoenix darling that you are!!!
With Self-Promoting Whoredom as the theme of my entry, please e-mail Gawker that Robyn Craddles & The Hamburglar should be on the Will & Grace Reality Show!!!!!!!!
© JAKE THOMPSON
(Professional M.C. (McChiken) & Motivational Speaker)