On the fateful eve of May, 11th, 2009, the powers of four unsual suspects from the East Coast, Midwest, and West Coast, banded together clad in glitter spandex and six inch pumps at the Bar Marmont in Hollywood, CA. After a bottomless pitcher of grapefruit martinis, along with happenstance and magic on their side, a dark and mysterious figure appeared to the quad through purple haze, disco beats, and flashing lights. It was none other than Michael Bolton in a pantsuit, (a ponytail), and a life-long contract with Think Outside The Bun Records.
The likes of Robbin Cradles (Hayley), Jason Waterfalls (Niko), Diet Squirt (Monica), and The Hamburglar (Jake) organically came together forming the now infamous legendary Mariah Carey tribute band: Glitter Nation.
Their don’t-give-a-flying-fuck attitude, evocative showcase of raunch-tastic lyrics, and ghetto fab garbs made them an instant hit! Since their early beginnings, they have pushed the envelope of both music and style. Hence, Glitter Nation not only had a musical following, but they branded a way of living.
A.K.A. FA$HIONA$TY was birthed. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, Fashionasty is a state of mind, a lifestyle, and a trend that will never die young. It is about working what your (Burger Queen) Mama gave ya! It’s rocking out (with your cock out)! You like animal print?! WE LIKE IT MORE THAN YOU DO. Tired of feeling ashamed of pairing glitter sequins with paisley?! NO H8, APPRECIATE. Do you throughly enjoy anything high-waisted?! JOIN THE CLUB.
Like a McDonald’s drive-thru, Fashionasty is about having your pokerface on 24/7 in total fabulousity!
We are starting an apocolyptic movement people. Where there are no boundaries and no rules to your fun. If you drink (chug) like a sailor, have an unhealthy addiction to borderline ugly street fashion, and can pound a Double-Double animal style in three bites, you have found not only your calling, but a family with us.
So take over the streets of NYC, MPLS, Chicago, LA, your hometown, etc. Whenever, wherever. We are desperate to find the real life Ugly Betties of the world. And we will find you.
Taste the Rainbow,
© JAKE THOMPSON